Managing Holiday Anxiety and Stress in Children

CHILDREN’S STRESS – The holiday season can be very stressful for anyone, especially children. For some children the holidays evoke fear and anxiety. Children with anxiety tend to be hypersensitive to their surroundings. New or unfamiliar situations, settings and people can create more anxiety in children. The holiday season increases the likelihood that children will encounter these stress provoking situations and increase their level of anxiety and stress. Tips for Reducing Stress and Anxiety in Children: • Plan ahead. Talk to your child about what makes them anxious during the holiday season and identify with ways to minimize that anxiety. Teach your child how to initiate a handshake if hugging is unwelcome. Practice ways to say thank you for unwanted gifts or deep-breathing techniques for when you child feels overwhelmed. • Eliminate the unexpected. Tell your child about the family’s holiday plans and who will be attending the gatherings. If your family will have to travel, explain how you will arrive and settle in. • Create a secret signal that you and your child can use to let you know they need your help without alerting others in the room. • Schedule special family time. Try to find time for your family to engage in an enjoyable and stress reducing activity such as play a board game, watch a favorite holiday video, make cookies, or engage in other fun and relaxing activities at home. • Take care of yourself. Your child will pick up on your stress. So try to make sure the entire family eats balanced meals, drinks enough water, exercises, and keeps stressful holiday shopping and other events to a minimum. A.C.T. will provide free resource information for individuals and families to promote effective stress-management during the holiday season. For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or (858) 792-3541. You may also visit us online at www.a4ct.com.

Back To School: Prevent School Refusal: An Anxiety Disorder

SCHOOL REFUSAL – As school commences, parents may discover that their children refuse to attend school. School refusal describes the anxiety disorder of a child who refuses to go to school on a regular basis or has difficulty staying in school. Anxiety-based school refusal affects 2 to 5 percent of school-age children. It commonly takes place between the ages of five and six and between ten and eleven, and at times of transition, such as entering middle and high school. Students may develop serious educational or social problems if their fears and anxiety prevent them from attending school and socializing with friends for any length of time.₁ Symptoms: Children with school refusal may complain of physical symptoms shortly before it is time to leave for school or repeatedly ask to visit the school nurse. If the child is allowed to stay home, the symptoms quickly disappear, only to return the next day. In some cases a child may refuse to leave the house. Common physical symptoms include headaches, stomachaches, nausea, or diarrhea. In addition, tantrums, inflexibility, separation anxiety, avoidance, and defiance may be present. Reasons: Starting school, relocating, and other stressful life events may trigger the onset of school refusal. Other reasons include the child’s fear that something negative will happen to a parent after he is in school, fear that the student will not do well in school, or fear of another student. What Parents Can Do: Parents can obtain a comprehensive evaluation from a mental health professional to determine the reasons behind the school refusal and the type of treatment that will be most effective. Meanwhile, keep your children in school. Missing school reinforces anxiety rather than alleviating it. Coping Strategies for School-Related Anxiety: • Expose children to school in small degrees, increasing exposure slowly over time. Eventually this will help them realize there is nothing to fear and that nothing bad will happen. • Talk with your child about feelings and fears, which helps reduce them. • Emphasize the positive aspects of going to school: being with friends, learning a favorite subject, and playing at recess. • Arrange an informal meeting with your child’s teacher away from the classroom. • Meet with the school guidance counselor for extra support and direction. • Utilize relaxation techniques. • Encourage hobbies and interests. Fun is relaxation, and hobbies are good distractions that help build self-confidence. • Help your child establish a support system. A variety of people should be in your child’s life—other children as well as family members or teachers who are willing to talk with your child should the occasion arise. • Learn about your child’s anxiety disorder and treatment options. A.C.T. is committed to raising awareness of the importance of assisting children with school refusal anxiety disorder. A.C.T. will provide information on tips to assist children and parents to cope with school refusal. For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or visit us online at Association for Compassionate Transformation.

Adjusting to a Blended Family

Remarriage offers couples hope and inspiration that they have a second chance at love. Tying the knot poses various challenges that couples overlook. Divorce rates are cited to be as high as 75% for remarried couples. Research suggests that individuals entering remarriage without children have a lower probability of divorce than individuals with children. Step-families or blended families are no longer an exception for American families. They have become the American norm. It is predicted that by 2010, blended families will outnumber traditional first-marriage and single-parent families. To increase the chances of success in blended families, experts offer various tips on adapting to a blended family.₁ Unique challenges affect blended families that increase the chances of divorce. The following tips will be explored to improve the quality of blended families. Adjustment Tips for Blended Families: • Financial and living arrangements: Moving into a new home equalizes the power among spouses. Discuss whether money will be kept separate or shared or develop a system that integrates both. Couples that share money report greater family satisfaction. • Resolving issues related to the previous marriage: Unresolved issues from a previous marriage can transfer into the remarriage. Start your remarriage on a strong foundation by addressing unresolved anger and hurt. • Parenting changes: Have a plan of how step-parents will respond to step-children. Identify the parenting role of the step-parent prior to the remarriage to avoid confusion and conflict. A.C.T. is committed to raising awareness of the importance of healthy families for healthy societies. A.C.T. will provide information on increasing the resiliency of blended families. For more information, please visit us online at www.a4ct.com.

Tips to Protect Yourself from Sexual Assault

SEXUAL ASSAULT – Rape is a crime of violence and aggression. The intent is to defeat, degrade, control and humiliate the victim. Rape affects victims from all socioeconomic classes and ethnic backgrounds. Rape victims can range in age from 3 months to 97 years. Women most vulnerable to rape range between the ages of 16 and 19; the second highest is for women between the ages of 20 and 24. Statistics estimate that as many as 60 – 80% of all rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. Rape can take place at any location and during any time. Many acquaintance rapes occur in the context of a dating relationship and typically occur at the man's turf. For college women, their normal social environment may consist of a party where alcohol is used - involves more of a risk for sexual victimization than does walking alone down a dark street.₁ While sexual assault cannot be fully prevented, protective measures can be taken. Below are suggestions that you can use in your day-to-day routine that can increase your safety and decrease the opportunity for a predator to attack. Tips to Protect Yourself from Sexual Assault: • Awareness of surroundings • Walk confidently • Travel in groups • Avoid isolated areas • Park your car in a well-lit area • Have your hands free • Have a whistle on your keychain • Let a family member or friend know where you are going and what time you plan on arriving • Carry a cell-phone • Trust your instincts • Self-defense class A.C.T. is committed to raising awareness of the dangers surrounding sexual assault and the need for protection through implementation of safety tips. A.C.T. will provide information on preventative measures to reduce the risk of being a victim of sexual assault. For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or visit us online at Association for Compassionate Transformation.

Brain Protection Against Dementia

A new and growing body of research is seeking preventative factors against the development of dementia. Researchers are finding that lifelong learning, advanced education and exercise help to protect the aging brain. Previous research in animals has shown that exercise can create new neural connections! Researcher's Willis and Schai suggest that 10% to 15% of people aged 46 to 60 begin to show significant declines, while another 10% - 15% show significant gains. A common factor that contributes to cognitive decline in midlife is hypertension. In addition, the brain becomes smaller in individuals who exhibited cognitive decline. Willis and Schai's study also demonstrates that 25% of middle-aged adults that exhibit a decrease in reasoning skills exhibit further decline by age 75. Researcher Lachman reported her findings and found that individuals who believe they have greater control over their lives both mentally and physically, are more likely to be happy and in good health. This sense of control is correlated to better memory and intellectual functioning overall. The explanation is that individuals that have a sense of control over their lives are more likely to be proactive about their situations in finding alternate strategies that compensate for memory lapses or physical decline. In summary, the aphorism of "Use it, or lose it" bears true. Individuals that engage in mentally stimulating activities and exercise create new neurons which may compensate for cognitive decline. For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or visit us online at Association for Compassionate Transformation.

Revitalization Intimacy in Romantic Relationships

REVITALIZING PASSION IN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS Society is relentlessly bombarding individuals with illusory representations of intimacy. The outcome of such constricted illustrations of intimacy leaves individuals feeling frustrated and discouraged in their relationships. Intimacy is a critical issue for couples. Discovering a method to invest one’s time and energy in a relationship can be a challenging task. It is essential that each couple jointly and uniquely define what constitutes intimacy. To discover what comprises intimacy in one’s relationship, the following question may be helpful to consider as a couple: “What will you be doing when you are feeling close to one another?” Several useful suggestions for creating intimacy will be provided. • First, it is vital to spend quality time together. What a couple may perceive as quality is contingent upon the mutual engagements the couple deems meaningful. For instance, it is paramount that a couple engages in enjoyable activities without the children present. Nevertheless, spending time together does not need to be extravagant; it could also consist of a private candle-light dinner at home with one’s significant other. • Second, individuals who are connected discuss personal topics. To facilitate a receptive conversation that consists of deep feelings, hopes and dreams; a safe, trustful and accepting atmosphere must be established. Couples should practice communicating their innermost feelings and/or thoughts and hear what is being said. Attempt to discuss a safe topic first, such as a couples’ first encounter. • The third principle is that intimacy entails a certain amount of affectionate touching. This premise is poignant in distinguishing a fervent and intimate relationship from other multiple relationships that each individual is a part of. Finding time to engage in mutual pleasurable touching and determining what is satisfying will bring a couple closer. For instance, massages or caressing can be gratifying. • Lastly, be innovative and spontaneous. Engage in behaviors that are positive and unexpected. For example, leave a love note in a location where it will not be instantaneously discovered, such as a drawer, wallet or car. Purchase or hand-craft a card that expresses your appreciation or highlights your partner’s positive attributes. Creating and sustaining intimacy is a life-long endeavor that requires more than the above factors. It is anticipated that the hints mentioned above will assist one in establishing a foundation for intimacy. For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or www.a4ct.com.

The Benefits of Children's Connection to Nature

Several psychologists are examining the independent play and exploration outdoors and its impact on children's development. Greater evidence demonstrates the various benefits of nature on children's psychological and physical well-being, that include reduced stress, improved physical wellness, increased creativity and greater focus and concentration. Across studies, the findings indicate that nature is great for children. Not only does free and unstructured play outdoors improve health and cognitive capacities, children also attain a sense of curiosity and a profound understanding of their connection and responsibility to care for Mother Earth. Various factors have coerced children indoors such as greater land development, more demands on children's time that may include homework and structured activities that include video games, the internet, the computer and/or parental fear. Today, few children have a deep connection to the environment which sabotages future generations' concerns and relationship to the earth. A significant study conducted by psychologist Dr. Nancy Wells, found that children who had the greatest green space near their home improved their cognitive functioning than those with less natural resources. Also, Dr. Sandra Hofferth's study demonstrated that between 1997 and 2003, the amount of time children between the ages of 9 and 12 spent participating in outdoor activities declined by 50%. You may be asking yourself: "What are children doing instead?" Children are more likely to play video games, watch TV and spend time on the computer. These activities are correlated to a increase in childhood obesity. A 2004 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey found that one-third of children and teens, ages 2 to 19, were overweight or at risk of becoming overweight. By 2010, an article in the International Journal of Pediatric Obesity predicts that approximately 50% of school-age children in the United States will be overweight or obese. Without establishing a connection to the natural world when children are young they are less inclined to have a relationship with Mother Earth as adults. Many parents are unaware of the benefits nature has to offer to their children. Other parents are unsure of how to tear their children away from the TV or computer. Parents are encouraged to make time to get outside to play, run and explore. The change must be gradual. Parents can start by creating an activity on their front lawn for one hour. Schools are recommended to increase recess time and green playgrounds. Children's symptoms of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder improved when they received the opportunity to expend their energy outdoors rather than engage in activities indoors. The goal is to build a child's love for nature through everyday interactions! For more information, please contact Dr. Drecun at Dr.Drecun@a4ct.com or visit us online at Association for Compassionate Transformation.